Zoo Day, Potty Troubles and Mom Question

On Saturday, we joined Stephanie, Delaney and some of my best friends and their kiddos for a play date at the zoo. There is a new African exhibit, and Wyatt was thrilled to see the elephants and giraffes. His favorite part of the entire day was the splash pad. I failed to bring a bathing suit, but had an extra pair of shorts so I gave in and let him play in the water. He was fit to be tied when I dragged him out and was a bit mismatched the rest of the day, but it was worth it :)

When we got to the public play area, Wyatt told me that he had to go potty. No problem- we were about two feet from the bathroom. Before I could even reach down and pick him up, he had pulled his elastic waist banded shorts to the ground and was peeing in full view of everyone. I was BEYOND mortified. All I could do was scream for him to stop, but once he started, there was no stopping, All the moms were incredibly gracious and my friends thought it was hysterical (I will admit- had it not been my child peeing in a public park, I would have thought it was funny too :) I guess thats life with a boy- I did tell Mark that there would be no more pit stops in the backyard until he was a little older, and a little less confused ;)

On another note, Wyatt's Excema continues to be a problem- particularly when it begins to warm up and when his skin is exposed to chlorine. I know if this is the worst problem we have to deal with, then I really have nothing to complain about- BUT aside from slathering him in steroid cream, I was just wondering if any of you had any advice? We spend the majority of our summer at the pool, and I would like to be able to enjoy it without having to worry about Wyatt's skin cracking open at the end of the day. Ya'll, it was so bad last night that Wyatt was screaming and crying while Mark held him down and I covered him from head to toe with medicated cream. It just kills me that I can't find a better way to keep a handle on it-- please let me know if you know of anything that might help!

Newest Addition

Six weeks ago, on a bitterly cold Saturday morning (35 degrees in the South is considered bitter), I was attempting for the third time to drink my luke-warm coffee while simultaneously blocking my two-and-a-half year old from catapulting off the back of the couch. Wyatt had recently watched a particularly inspiring edition of Dino Dan, and thought excavating from the top of our overstuffed Ethan Allen was a super idea.

The phone rang, and like any normal Saturday before 8 a.m. in our house, I was debating setting my child in his crib, and going outside. Or, perhaps, catching a boat to Puerto Rico. I decided against the latter, and answered the phone instead.

"Guess WHAT?!" My husbands giddy shrill was so loud, that I yanked the cordless to arms length. Oh CRAP. (in my head, not out loud, in order to keep the toddler from being kicked out of pre- school). I don't even have to ask. I already know what he is about to say. I ask anyways- trying so, so very hard to act a teenie weenie bit happy.

ME: what?

HIM: I shot a 10-point!!!

ME (again, in my head) Wow. Really? Would have never guessed in a million years that this could be the reason why you sound like a teenage girl on crack.

ME (for real this time) Wow. That IS FANTASTIC! I am SOOO SOOO haaaaapppppyyyy!!! I mean, instead of being home between the hours 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. today, you are now going to be gone ALL day, leaving Wyatt and I to our own devices- and we can't even leave the house because its the freaking arctic out there, and on top of that--- I get to look forward to blood and guts in my garage and raw meat on my kitchen counters, but wow, a 10 point?!?! That is so awesome honey.

HIM: Yeah, I know awesome huh?! Oh, and by the way, Jamie and I will be processing it all day tomorrow.

ME: Gee. That's fantastic! I didn't have anything I wanted to do this weekend anyways- other than packing my bags for Puerto Rico, of course.

Fast forward three weeks. My sleep-deprived, anxiety stricken, pre-occupied self cannot for the life of me understand why there are 23 industrial-sized bleach bottles filling up my laundry room. I stopped asking questions a long time ago, but when my testorone laden better half arrived home with a Sally's Beauty bag filled with peroxide cream, curiosity won out.

Before the question could even leave my mouth, Mark was bounding for the garage with enthusiasm that could rival Leslie Sansone. He reappeared with the skeletal remains of something that I thought he had perhaps dug up in the Arizona desert. Only Mark has never been to Arizona. Then it hit me-- I could tell from the sheer excitement spreading across his face, that he actually thought the creepy skull thing was cool. And, then suddenly, a worse thought crossed my mind. Oh, NO. He wants to hang this ON MY WALL. IN MY HOUSE. Oh please no... but, ask he did... and in a moment of sheer insanity, mixed with guilt over the fact that every single organism that my husband had ever killed, stuffed, preserved or mounted had been banished ages ago to the attic (well, except for the Turkey- which was in our garage... until our Cocker Spaniel devoured it- but alas, I digress), anyways- in that moment of pure insanity, I consented to letting him have one tiny corner of the least trafficked room in our house. And, have since grown to regret it (after walking into our guest room and almost peeing my pants).

Welcome dear friends. I do hope that this empty skull staring at you while you sleep does not give you nightmares :). I am thinking that not even my parents will come and visit anymore- perhaps this was his plan all along... ;)

My Souvenir From Vegas...

My husband just returned from the SHOT show in Vegas. I can't remember what this stands for, but basically it's a huge convention and trade show for all hunters, shooters and outdoors men. Pretty much somewhere I would NOT want to be.

There was talk of me going out there to meet him last weekend after the convention, and us making a mini vaca out of it- but I opted for a fun girls weekend in Tampa with one of my best friends from college instead. I didn't feel right about leaving Wyatt two weekends in a row, so I am heading to the Gasparilla festival TODAY. Seriously, CANNOT wait! Last week was awful in every sense of the word. I am not sure why things go so very, very wrong when Mark is gone... but that's what happens every time, and every time- I feel like I am going to lose my mind.

Alas, that is behind me now. The point of this post, is to show you the "souvenir" my husband brought me from his trip.

When he pulled it out to show me last night, I lost it- we are talking shoulder-shaking, snorting, rolling-on-the-floor hysterics. It was too funny not to model for my loyal blog readers:

I might just have to wear this one to the parade on Saturday ;)

Disc Golf, Happy 30 to Heidi, and a little bubble trouble

Another Monday, another weekend wrap-up...

Friday night we enjoyed a delicious fish fry at Mark's parents house. Since they are Catholic, and don't eat meat on Fridays, we headed down to Clanton to enjoy a little Crappie and a lot of french fries. It was delicious, and we came home very full and very sleepy.

On Saturday, Mark and I took Wyatt to the local disc golf course. If you are wondering what disc golf is, think a combination of Frisbee and golf. Wyatt loved running around in the sunshine and chasing the Frisbee

Saturday evening the grandparents babysat and Mark and I headed to our friend Heidi's 30th Birthday party. It was nice to have an adult night out with some of our closest friends- Happy Birthday Heidi! I hope you enjoy your special day :)

On Sunday, we went to church and then headed back to Clanton to pick up our child. We tried to put him down for a nap, but 30 minutes later, he had thrown every toy out of his crib and was yelling "get out mommy! get out pleeeease!" So... no nap for him and no down time for me.

I decided to rectify the situation by taking him out in the backyard. I was very sleepy, and thought if I could just rest my eyes in the sunshine while he ran around in our backyard, it would be the perfect solution to my R&R dilemma. Five minutes into our "rest" time I heard Wyatt come up to me repeating the word 'bubble' over and over again. I open my eyes to find him with two open containers of bubbles that he had dumped all over him, along with the contents of Sadie's water bowl. He then thought it would be a fantastic idea to join Sadie as she rolled around on the grass.

So I had a soaking wet little boy and a soaking wet dog- both covered from head to toe in dead grass. So much for my relaxing afternoon!

Happy Monday!

I have to draw the line somewhere...

It is no secret that my husband is a passionate outdoorsman. And by passionate, I mean obsessed, consumed, fanatical, fixated... you get the idea. His career revolves around this preoccupation- and because this caveman mentality seems to pay the mortgage every month, I have long since stopped asking when my garage will be restored to its original purpose, or why my kitchen doubles as a processing plant, or what in the heck is in the garbage bag in my fridge.

I have even tried to minimize the excessive sighs that escape me when I open the back door and find him skinning his latest trophy- whether it be last Saturday's coyote or yesterday's rattlesnake. I have gotten really good at ignoring him when he begs to hang up the 10-point he killed four years ago in my living room or tries to talk me into a fur comforter for our bed.

Oh, but last night sent me over the edge. I think it would have sent any easy-going, laid back wife over the edge- it wasn't so much the sight of my husband rolling out a bobcat skin on the wooden plank he had fashioned into a tanning prop, or the rem nets of the animal covering the ground. I am now desensitized to the post mortem wildlife that frequents our home. Nope, it was what was in his hand that turned me into a raging maniac. He was brushing the fur of the dead bobcat with a hairbrush- and not just any hairbrush- my hairbrush. The brush I use every day to detangle the mane that sits atop my head- and he wasn't even going to tell me!!!!!!!!!!

He snuck out the back door with my brush tucked into his shirt- knowing full well he was going to use it on a dead animal, and thought he would simply slip it back into the bathroom drawer without me ever finding out. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME????

Needless to say, the brush is now in the trash, and Mark spent the latter half of the ten o'clock hour in Wal-Mart- buying a new hairbrush. I am telling you, there is never a dull moment in our house. I thought about posting a picture of his prize, but I think I will spare you :)

80's Day!

The first place winners- Justin and Yours Truly- I think it was the hair that cinched it :)

Laura, Madonna and Amy... totally bodacious dudettes!

The Corporate Communications and Physician Relations Team

Today is 80's day at work. I wish every day was 80's day so that I never would have to actually fix my hair... only use an entire can of Aqua Net. let's hope I don't have to go over to the hospital for a spur of the moment media call... I might scare some reporters- haha!

Living The Dream...

Oh, OH what a doozie of a morning. Really it was going just fine thanks to the help of my wonderful husband who helped me dress and load up little guy. He even made me a sandwich to assist in getting us both out the door on time. Really, I was quite proud of myself when at 6:32 a.m. I was breezing through Pelham. Even more thrilling was the smile plastered to my son's face throughout the entire commute- little did I know what I was in for.

As we neared Vestavia, I heard Wyatt fussing and glanced in the rearview mirror. Much to my horror, I realized he had thrown up his ENTIRE sippy cup of milk. There were now chunks of curds covering him, his car seat, the window, his hands and the interior of my car. If the sight didn't freak me out enough, the smell was enough to kill a small village.

Take a detour with me here- do you remember back in March when I careened into the side of a Chevron station while making a pit stop on the way to work? Basically I took out 17 propane tanks, a 25-foot glass window and a display of Lance Crackers in one fatal swoop. Even the local fire department was in shock that my little car could do so much damage (and still be in one piece)!

Fast forward six months, and just guess where I was forced to stop to clean up my child this morning- YOU GOT IT! The very same Chevron Station that my insurance company dropped me for. Now guess again who forgot a change of clothes for their child, and who only had 2 wipes in her diaper bag... and who had to drag their naked child into the Alford Ave. Chevron begging for paper towels?

And... for the last question of the day... guess who happened to be working behind the counter on this fateful morning? Ah yes, not just one owner, but both of them. Both Abu and Jasmine... who by the way, did not forget what I looked like, or what kind of car I drove... or for that matter- the damage that I caused their little shop. Nah, they weren't still angry that I put them out of business for 24 hours, or that they had to hire security to keep people from looting their store until the glass got replaced. Nope, they were happy as larks to see me again. And, even happier that I depleted them of paper towels.

I had to leave my child in a Buzz Lightyear sweatshirt that is about two sizes too big. Apparently, he also didn't have a change of clothes at daycare either, and that was the only thing we could find to put him in. In case you were wondering who should be nominated for the "mom of the year" award- it probably isn't me :).