It is no secret that my husband is a passionate outdoorsman. And by passionate, I mean obsessed, consumed, fanatical, fixated... you get the idea. His career revolves around this preoccupation- and because this caveman mentality seems to pay the mortgage every month, I have long since stopped asking when my garage will be restored to its original purpose, or why my kitchen doubles as a processing plant, or what in the heck is in the garbage bag in my fridge.
I have even tried to minimize the excessive sighs that escape me when I open the back door and find him skinning his latest trophy- whether it be last Saturday's coyote or yesterday's rattlesnake. I have gotten really good at ignoring him when he begs to hang up the 10-point he killed four years ago in my living room or tries to talk me into a fur comforter for our bed.
Oh, but last night sent me over the edge. I think it would have sent any easy-going, laid back wife over the edge- it wasn't so much the sight of my husband rolling out a bobcat skin on the wooden plank he had fashioned into a tanning prop, or the rem nets of the animal covering the ground. I am now desensitized to the post mortem wildlife that frequents our home. Nope, it was what was in his hand that turned me into a raging maniac. He was brushing the fur of the dead bobcat with a hairbrush- and not just any hairbrush- my hairbrush. The brush I use every day to detangle the mane that sits atop my head- and he wasn't even going to tell me!!!!!!!!!!
He snuck out the back door with my brush tucked into his shirt- knowing full well he was going to use it on a dead animal, and thought he would simply slip it back into the bathroom drawer without me ever finding out. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME????
Needless to say, the brush is now in the trash, and Mark spent the latter half of the ten o'clock hour in Wal-Mart- buying a new hairbrush. I am telling you, there is never a dull moment in our house. I thought about posting a picture of his prize, but I think I will spare you :)
9 comments:
Sorry, Rachel...I can't help but laugh at this :)
How'd you catch him????
You think this could have been done before and you didn't know? Just think of what $%#^ is in your hair. haha. This is too funny. Sorry, I just have to laugh. I know Z probably would do the same thing.
Oh my goodness that is too funny!! Good thing you caught him!!
Oh my. Oh my. I think I would get a label maker and label everything "Rachel's. NOT TO BE USED ON AN ANIMAL DEAD OR ALIVE!!" Also he might need to start passing inspection before walking out. ;)
Hilarious!
I think that would have pushed me over the edge too! Its pretty funny that he tried to sneak out of the house with it tucked in his shirt!
classic!
classic!
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