Roller Coaster

Yesterday was not a good day...

Hold on, let me re-phrase that- Yesterday morning was wonderful-the church service was great, and Mark and I started attending a Sunday school class for young married couples, and we loved meeting new people- they were very friendly and 3 couples live in our neighborhood!

Sometime after we got home, I laid down and started watching my usual Sunday afternoon marathon of Lifetime movies- and then Rachel left for awhile and the emotional, crazy basketcase that I didn't recognize took over.

I have no idea what was wrong with me- it could have been that I didn't sleep well the night before (AGAIN), or the ridiculous amount of Lifetime I was consuming, but whatever it was, it was not good. I think I cried for 3 hours straight- I was so overwhelmed I didn't know what to do- I felt like I was swimming in anxiety- I was worried about the baby, I was worried something was going to happen to Mark, I was worried I would be a terrible mother- You name it, I obsessed over it.

I never thought I would turn into that crazy, emotional pregnant woman- but here I am in full force. Poor Mark missed most of my episode (he was out doing boy things at the hunting club) and then came in after I had already had the major portion of my meltdown underway. If he thought I was neurotic, he never let on. He just hugged me, told me I was going to be a great mother, and No, he did not think I needed a prescription to Zoloft. Why can't I be more ike my laid-back, even-keel husband!?! I swear I don't know what i would do without him.

I still feel a little off-balance today- like at any moment I could burst into tears- but considering that I am at work, I am working on containing it. For today, however, I am going to try to avoid the Hematology and Oncology unit at all costs. I swear I don't know how Kacey works with those children every day- I wouldn't make it in my condition!

Thank goodness I had a good night's sleep last night- I think I was absolutely worn out- It takes a lot out of your body to have an emotional break-down! I hope yesterday was the last of that!